This night was the first time I have been glad DH works evening shift. I sat at home and watched random shows, all of which included a pregnancy or newborn story line, and cried all evening. I cried for two reasons. The first, I just knew something was wrong with him and once it was confirmed he would give up the idea of having a child. Number two, was if I was wrong I would blame myself for all our struggles. Though in between the crying I did have to finish packing for my bestie trip.
The next day was another day full of emotion as I waited for the doctor to call but tried to act normal for S while driving the 8 hours to the beach. Finally at noon they called. Turns out DH was normal!! Great news, except the blame game started. Since that day I have blamed myself over and over again for our problems. I should have lost the weight, I should have tracked my temps better, I should have done so many things differently to not be in this place. DH has been extremely supportive and not once blamed me. The good news is I start Clomid next cycle. Fingers crossed I don't have to get the prescription filled.
To keep my mind off of the fertility issues, the beach trip was amazing. The weather was a little crappy but alone time with S was great. I was never lucky enough to have a sister. Well, until I found her. She is truly my sister and the person I turn to for everything.